first analysis

freud:[Busily taking notes] Tell me more about zis, ah, cake.

data:It is difficult to explain.  Counselor Troi’s body was… a cake.

freud:Her… upper body.  [Pause]  Dezcribe zee knife you used to cut zee counselor.

data:It had a black handle… and a serrated blade… and [turning his head in Freud’s direction] it was quite long.

freud:How long? [insinuating]

data:25 centimeters in length.

freud:[Nodding]  And what happened next?

data:One of the workmen pointed to her right shoulder.  At that moment, I had an overwhelming urge to… cut a piece out of the cake.

freud:[With satisfaction] And did you?

data:Yes. [Freud nods again] As I began slicing the cake, she reacted as though I was causing her pain… and yet I could not stop cutting.  That is when I woke up.  [Freud grunts] Dr. Freud, I am curious— [Data turns to face Freud, and Freud wags his finger at him to resume his position on the couch, facing away; Data reluctantly complies] I am curious, what do my nightmares mean?

freud:[Closes his notebook, and stands] I believe you are experiencing a classic dismemberment dream, or in your case, being a mechanical man, a dismantlement dream.

data: [Doubtfully] I do not understand.

freud:Your mechanistic qualities are trying to reassert themselves over your human tendencies.  Ego and Id struggling for domination.  Zee workmen symbolize zee ever-prezent Id, constantly verking to deeztroy zee Ego [Data looks sidelong at Freud, increasingly skeptical].  Now zee image of Couselor Troi, a female, is devoured by you, clearly indicating an unconscious desire to possess your own mother.

data: [Doing a double take] But I do not have a mother.

freud:[Irked] Do not interrupt. Zee knife, in its violent connotation, suggests a certain feeling of sexual inadequacy.

data:But I have no sexual desire!

freud:[Delighted] Ah!  Impotence on top of everyzing!  It is all becoming clear to me now! [Aside, exitedly]  Zere might be a paper in zis…

data: [Shaking his head in some disgust, and sitting up] I do not believe I am being helped by this session.

freud:[Delighted again]  Classic tranzference!  Your anger toward me is in fact zee animosity you feel toward your father!  You are a polymorphously perverse individual, Mr. Data!  And I recommend full psychoanalysis.  I believe I can fit you in next, ah, next Tuesday, hmm?

data:That will not be necessary.  [Stands up resolutely] Computer, end program.

second analysis

data:[Holding a knife-shaped tool] Everything seems to remind me of the nightmare: objects, sounds, smells.  And now I have seen elements of the dream in a waking state.

troi:Data, if you were one of my human patients, I might be concerned right now. I’d say you’d had a waking dream, or an hallucination.  But you’re not human—I think we might be looking at some kind of technological problem.

data:I have run three complete self-diagnostics.  All of my systems are functioning normally. [Looks down and plays with the knife] Perhaps Dr. Freud was correct:  the knife I dreamed about is the embodiment of my unconscious desire to inflict violence.

troi:Data, even Freud said “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” [Data appears confused] But the bottom line is that I think you’re developing an almost obsessive interest in your own inner workings.  I’d almost call it the beginnings of a neurosis.

data:That is not possible.

troi:Why not?  You’ve eliminated all the technical explanations, and it makes sense that, as your neural net becomes more complex, more human, that you might experience the same kind of psychological complexities as a human.

data:[Almost smiling] Do you really think that is possible?

troi:[Amused] Data, you must be the first person who’s come into my office and been excited at the prospect of a new neurosis.  But yes, I do think it’s possible, and I’d like to start counseling you on a regular basis.

data:[Eagerly] Daily?

troi:[Taken aback] No, we’ll start weekly.  And as a first step I’d like you to shut down your dream program until our next session, just to be on the safe side.  Give yourself a chance to reflect on this experience.

data: [Nods] Thank you, Couselor. I look forward to our next meeting.

troi:And Data?  [Holds out the knife-tool he has forgotten]  Next time, see me before you see Sigmund. [Data takes the knife and nods. Troi smiles, amused again]

transference and the mother

tainer:Deanna Troi, is that who you’re going to visit?

data: Yes.

tainer:Your father would be so pleased.

data:Pleased?

tainer:Well, he was worried that the sexuality program he designed for you wouldn’t work! [Amused, she raises an eyebrow and walks away]

data: [Speaking progressively louder as she walks away] Uh—you misunderstand.  Counselor Troi is a therapist.

tainer:[Another amused raising of the eyebrow]  Good night!